We expect too much from everywhere and everybody.

I have a few more, OK a lot more, limitations than many folks and I was talking yesterday about "Acceptance" of the fact that you and no one else is 100% all the time. That is a pretty simple concept for us and those we deal closely with. We know there are days we simply drag through and don't get everything we had planned, done. We worry about whether we need more or different vitamins and we are generally very critical of ourselves.We are usually a little less harsh with our friends, but often not by much.

Now, if I go and purchase a new laptop and it doesn't work properly, I don't want to sue the manufacturer. I want them to make getting me a new, properly working laptop as simple as it could possibly be without me going to any trouble. I realize they will not make 100% of their laptops properly all the time. This is true of everything we buy and every service we have performed; perfection is not a goal typically achieved in any walk of life although it is a worthy goal.

I can think of one coach whose football team won 10 games last year and were over 50% in wins this year and was fired. Another won 2/3's of his games, was named coach of the year in his conference and was fired. School wasn't selling enough luxury boxes because they weren't approaching perfection consistently enough, I guess. I am an avowed and degreed Clemson supporter and we fired a guy in 1993 who had a 9-3 record. His career at Clemson had his teams claim a 70+% winning record. I started to say I couldn't understand these type of reactions, but I actually understand them very well. If your schools athletic department is watching revenue decline, then whether you like the coach and his record, or not, he is on the way out. Our Institutes of "higher learning" have abandoned that for institutions of higher revenues so they can add better and more impressive facilities to attract a few football and basketball divas who are all of 17 years old. The inmates are now running the asylum and we live and die by the results; what would our forefathers and those aliens from another planet think?grumpygarystuckathome.com 

Social Security Disability

This will likely be the longest and most vitriolic blog I think I will ever write. I will also tell some truths that I prefer not to, but can't make my points otherwise. I became disabled through numerous physical ailments which led to some vicious advancement in some mental health battles I had managed for a number of years. Add a lot of time alone and high doses of narcotics and your brain will do some really scary things.

I filed my first application for Social Security Disability Insurance in about March and they asked that I go see their psychologist. She diagnosed me with worse issues than my personal psych doctors. That was on a Friday around lunchtime. She, I am guessing here, faxed her report to the SSDI office. Thttp://www.grumpygarystuckathome.comhe following Monday, I received a denial of benefits. Anyone ever heard of a government agency receiving a fax on a Friday afternoon, evaluating it's contents, and sending out a reply letter Friday night or Saturday? My cynical self chooses to believe the letter was likely placed in the mail on Friday prior to receiving their psychologist's report.

I filed an appeal with in thirty days and was again denied. I am reasonably certain there is not an approval stamp in the office that evaluates the first two filings. I believe you could send that office a notarized copy of a picture with your kidney hanging out and be denied, as they don't possess an approval stamp. I will veer off to one topic that I am speculating, but the facts bear themselves out in hindsight. The funds for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) are federal, but administered by the states. Most state legislatures are comprised of attorneys. It is not impossible to file a third appeal and get a hearing with an Adjudication Judge on one's own, but an attorney helps grease the skids, to a point. The fee paid to the attorney is liberally capped by our legislature at 25% up to $6000. The average wait in SC is currently about 380-400 days. I seriously doubt the figures are available, but I would wager there are a lot more settled and approved after the attoeney reaches their max payout. I am enough of a realist to realize there are those who want to fleece the system. I have worked from the time I was 12 yrs. old to 49 and with the evidence I have presented, should not be painted with the same brush as those who simply do not want to work. You may never crash into this ludicrous system, but if you do, start drinking or plead with God for the patience of Job. If I could get my approval, I'd be happy to pay my attorney, within reason, his fee w/out waiting for my settlement if my left over portion allowed me to keep my house and cars.

I am now into the 10th month of waiting and know no more than I did four months ago. All they can tell when you ask, is that you are in the system. You can't get a progress report such as we cleared three cases last week, you should be the 988th person we get in front of a judge.I can't tell you much more of what I perceive as a typically screwed up agency of government, but this. There are attorneys who are better at this than others. I won't name any names for those of you in SC because I am still employing one. I doubt he is doing much work on my behalf and his paralegals must do most legal work that gets done, but don't have a JD.

Mental Health and Prison ovepopulation

This will likely be a pretty short rant, unless I run off on a tangent, which has about a 50/50 probability whenever I begin a conversation. I read a few weeks ago that SC is not going to accept some funds that are generally directed to Mental Health for care and treatment. I don't remember the precise numbers that would be lost by the State Mental Health Commission. When you are spending about 50% of what is needed, any cuts are simply suicide/homicide, we just don't know who the victims are yet. As I have said before, I suffer from depression, anxiety/panic disorder, and obsessive personality disorder. I take meds to help control the symptoms, but I have medical insurance and a wife and family who most don't have for the  support that is absolutely necessary. There are a lot of people out there who suffer from one or all of my problems and receive no treatment or care outside of their school setting and none when they dropout. With no treatment, I don't think I would survive very long and certainly not alone. There are so many folks on the streets who are taking drugs to make the noises go away, committing petty crimes to come up with the money and then they get locked up. All they needed was a combination of probably two drugs that a medicare copay would be less that $25/mo. How much does it cost to incarcerate and is the person we let go because of overcrowding much more of a menace to society.

OK, I knew I would find a tangent and it really fits nicely. If we were to legalize medical marijuana and all other amounts that would be considered for personal use. Our police would have time to police real crime. If I get really out on a limb, do the same with all street drugs. If the product is taxed to both growers and users, imagine how much crime fighting dollars we could use to educate people of the dangers and keep them out of jails that we don't have and creating job opportunities for 12 yr. olds to make $40,000 a year as a drug mule after they drop out of school? Our government spent $15B fighting the drug war last year and arrested somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.7 million people. What we really did was waste a big chunk of $15B and create 1 Million new job opportunities for 12 year olds. We currently incarcerate or parole some 7.5 Million people or about 3.1% of our population. While taking these personal users out of our court system, we could tax transactions - 6-8% on each end when gross dollar exchanges run into the 100's of Billions would certainly help our deficit issue. I know, our congress would find another way to waste it because they somehow think that is their money.

I hope your main takeaway is that mental health, or the lack thereof, needs more than polite attention. About 25% of us suffer from some mental disease and we need to become comfortable discussing the problem face to face and publicly. You know or work with someone who is clinically depressed, bipolar, anxiety challenged, etc...Find a way to help them one-on-one and just lend a non-judgmental ear of support.

Grumpy Gary Stuck at Home: Retirement

Grumpy Gary Stuck at Home: Retirement: "I am going back to one of my careers in life to talk about 'retirement plans'. If watching TV, reading a magazine, or looking at any other t..."

Retirement

I am going back to one of my careers in life to talk about "retirement plans". If watching TV, reading a magazine, or looking at any other type of media, you will see ads for at least 5 financial advisory firms - aka, stockbrokers. The ads with some guy carrying around "his number"  is a perfect example of the idea of having a specific amount of money when you retire. I've never met anyone, who off the top of their head would not say their goal is as much as I can have. If that enables me to travel, great, but mostly I want a roof over my head, food to eat, and some clothes to wear. Many people go through this questionnaire with a financial advisor or planner and get a number back that will allow them to live in the manner their questionnaire indicated they desired. The number for most people is the scariest thought they have yet to consider in their complicated lives. They put money in their 401k every month, but can't imagine it growing to that "number" and especially since a buy and hold investor has maybe broke even the past 11 years. Between now and when you want to start spending that money, your retirement, You will likely have 2-3 major surprises that will have a huge impact on your finances. After ten years of putting together fancy plans that a flat market made look like folly, I determined I could no longer sell a wish at a much higher price than it turned out to be worth. I think every retirement plan should include a few considerations. How much can you save now without living like a hermit? My preference would be to see everyone tithe to their local church, but that is a personal preference, so I'll set it aside for now. Once you pay uncle Sam more than is justifiable, you need to contribute what you can to your 401k or IRA. I think your budget, if possible should include at least 2 family vacations each year and then every so often an adult get-away. We would all like to have enough money and insurance to live our lives out in our own home, but if that comes at the expense of enjoying some of your younger years doing things you can't do at 80, I believe you are robbing yourself and family in hopes of dying comfortably. The next question is, how should I invest this money? This may be a spot where you want to consult with an advisor, but your "guess" is as good as theirs. There are plenty of cheap ways to go to determine your investment style and where your risk tolerance is. Find those two things out and you can handle most other decisions on your own. Buy as much long-term insurance as you can afford and lock it in at that price as long as you can. Don't put it off or you may have an acute pancreatic attack that leads to more, and then you may be diabetic as a result and have other health issues and at the age of 50 be An untouchable for insurers. There are certain things you need to plan for, but you don't need "A Number", "A Green Line", or "a Vineyard".

The Grump

Healthcare up close

by Gary Manley on Saturday, December 29, 2010 at 6:30pm

I have had the unfortunate opportunity to get very up close and personal with our healthcare industry for the past four years and four months. I was initially hospitalized with a diagnosis of acute pancreatitis in Feb. of 2006. Based on personal history, it was generally thought that I had drank myself into this state and more then one physician gave off the aura that whatever I got I deserved. One physician on this initial team of Gastrointerologists that was called in thought it possible that my condition was caused by microstones in my gall bladder and it was removed on St. Patrick's Day 2006. I was hospitalized with the diagnosis of acute pancreatitis two additional times in 2006 and again the cause was considered to be my use (abuse) of alcohol. During my 30 days in the hospital, there were a number of procedures done to determine the cause of my problem. There were additional looks taken at the same facility and again at a teaching the following year when I was sure there had to be something better than spending the rest of my life tied to narcotics. Through these separate hospitalizations and out-patient procedures I believe there were no fewer than a dozen opportunities for the congenital condition (since birth) to have been observed by any of the physicians involved. I am obviously frustrated that the condition should have been spotted 52 months ago and possibly not burdened in the many ways myself and my family have been during that period. I am frustrated that myself and my insurance company has paid well into six figures since this began, much of it for these tests and scans and there is no "claw-back" as so many have demanded for Wall St. executives. And as frustrating as any of of these items is that we just passed an approximately 1100 page healthcare bill that will do nothing to resolve any of this.

New Years

I and my Brother's family have had a tradition going back 24 years, and it may be a few years longer than that. For many of those years some great friends of ours from Rock Hill, SC have also participated. Depending on work schedules and such, we may be all be piled in for 2-3 nights and no one has to risk being on the road after drinking or with others who have been. We are actually near the end of our 2 1/2 days together now and we will start looking forward to next New Year's Eve.

That was really just a segue to other traditions that accompany Christmas and New Year's. My most hated and also most avoided is the Resolution tradition. I am sure there have been, at least, some non-scientific research on achievement percentage for New Year's resolutions. I hope that at the end of 2011, I am a little bit more faithful and gracious child of God. If I accomplish this, I will also be better as a Husband, Dad, Friend, and maybe a bit less grumpy, but I think that is genetic.